This is mathematically impossible. For every single woman there's a man who's not married to her, and vice versa, just as for every single mom there's a family-less father (or two or three). The various paired populations grow at the same rate, to a first approximation. If one wanted to get precise, you could take into account the fact that more boys than girls are born, and that males have a higher mortality rate than women. But doing so is only going to show that any difference in the rates of growth of the various populations is of the order of a few percent. So the quoted statement is little more than headline type bombast signalling a new bogus trend.

> ...for years, everyone quoted erroneous statistics that
> said there were not enough men for all the single women.

So where was this previously unknown population of single men discovered by the census takers? There was never a 'man shortage' to begin with. Quite the contrary. Among never-married 34-39 year-olds, men outnumbered women four to three in the 2000 census. The only place where the ratio was reversed was in the media capitol of NYC...

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I've always found the whole biz about 'committment-phobia' interesting. It's always been about what the woman wants. I.e., if you go out on a first date, and, as the male, answer the inevitable questions about what you want and what you're looking for with something to the effect that you want to settle down, have kids, and live happily ever after behind a white picket fence, then many a 'modern' woman will take you for a retro knuckledragger who wants to keep women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, as the cliche goes. No good. On the other hand, if you're non-commital and end up 'hooking-up' in some manner or another, then after 15 or 18 months she's likely to start talking about moving in together and/or other signs of bonding and long-term commitment. Now, when the male balks, he's branded as being commitment-phobic and all the rest. So the thing about commitment is it has to be something she thinks up. It has to coincide with her timing. It has to be about him conforming to her wishes and expectations, rather than the other way around.]]>

She is always willing and eager to commit and ‘intuitively’ ‘knows’ that it takes practice. Lots of practice. It has to be done over and over. She thinks about it every day. He has to reaffirm his commitment every day.

It is he who has ‘difficulty’ committing.

To him it’s a one- off thing. He thinks about it deeply, for some time, usually too long, not understanding it’s importance to her that he does it right NOW. He commits his future, his earnings, his labour, his freedoms. It is important to him. He only need do it once.

She initiates 80% of divorces.

Then she wants his future commitment to continue support her so she hires lawyers and takes him to Court to make him remain committed to paying for the rest of his life. If she can do this several times, it confirms her commitment to commitment.

The more men fight this, the more she 'understands' that men are the ones who are reluctant to commit.]]>

The Secret's Out: Some Women Fear Commitment, Too
By INGRID STURGIS, AOL COACHES

You know her.
She is the queen of first dates. She has a coterie of close girlfriends with whom she dissects in detail every humiliating date with the bad boys she adores. She's the one who has been happily engaged for half-a-decade or more with no wedding in sight. Or she rebounds from one long-term relationship to another without ever stopping to reflect. She tells you that all the good men are taken. You tell her she's too picky. She replies, "Why do I have to settle?"

(Translation: Good Guys who treat her right are door mats to her. Bad Boys that treat her like a door mat are exciting….until she finds a rich one to cash in on. Equality is only good when it works in her favor.)

Some might call her an independent woman. But Elina Furman, author of 'Kiss and Run: The Single, Picky, and Indecisive Girl's Guide to Overcoming Her Fear of Commitment,' calls her commitment phobic. Apparently women are not only bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan, but they've adopted the same bad behaviors that women have long attributed to men.

(Here’s that Strong Independent Label again. Except this whole column is about yet another female issue that needs to be addressed. Poor things.)

"There are a lot of woman in their mid-20s and -30s doing everything to sabotage their relationships," Furman says, from dismissing men before getting to know them better to playing the field. Even women in their 40s and older -- who have been married, divorced and have raised their children -- are reveling in their newfound freedom.

(Translation: Sure you are. Seeing how marriage rates have dropped and the single population is at an all time high do to the fact that men are refusing to sign a sham contract you NEED to put a happy face on it. Of course, if you are in your 40s and older having been married, divorced, my bet is that you want to spend all that divorce money on yourself until you find another sucker to keep you into a lifestyle you’ve become accustomed to. It’s so tough being a woman these days!)

In the past 30 years, society has changed, giving women more options for work, family and relationships. As a result, women are more independent than ever. At 47 million strong, according to the U.S. Census, single women are the fastest-growing segment of the American population. And with society more accepting of their single status, women are free to pursue whatever choices they want to make. However, conflicts can arise from all this newfound freedom: More women are living life on their own terms but finding it harder to compromise.

(Translation: Well that’s good news! Single women are the fastest growing segment of the population. That must mean that men aren’t marrying them. It’s been 40 years plus with this whole feminist thing girl, it is way past time to stop using phrases like “and with society more accepting”. Talk about a crucifixion complex, geez get over it.)

Furman says she knows these commitment-phobic women well because she used to be one of them. "I was in a long-term relationship. We never even talked about marriage, or moving in together. It never came up once in all the time we were together. What's wrong with me that I would be someone for that long and not think about it as a possibility?"

When that relationship ended, Furman says she became a serial dater. Eventually, she was dissatisfied with her relationships with men. "Every day I would struggle with wanting to stay and wanting to leave. Is this person right for me?" Furman says she started to wonder what was at the root of her behavior. Like any good researcher, the author, (who previously homed into another lifestyle trend with her book 'Boomerang Nation') began to ask questions, eventually interviewing 100 women about their views on relationships. "I needed answers," she says. "I started interviewing women. I talked to psychologists."

(Yep. Go talk to the psychologists you Strong Independent Woman you!)

The work eventually helped her to get at the root of her issues. It was, she says, a cathartic experience and fodder for the book. "Other women needed the help as well. It validates our fears. So many women wrote in who had the same issues."

(Big surprise there.)

One of those issues is the strength of female bonding. "Girlfriends travel together," the author says. "And women are single for so much longer. I believe in the bonds that women share, but women have become so close knit that there is no room for a man to come in anymore. All emotional needs are taken care of by a small group of women who have a stake in keeping each other single."

(“women have become so close knit that there is no room for a man to come in anymore.” So then what is your point here? You are trying to cure a phobia that really is not a phobia? You are happy without a man? Fine. Then shut up and get on with living. You don’t need to write a book then either. )

Another is the pickiness. "We always see the stereotype of the men who want to date a supermodel. Now we see this happening with women," Furman says. "Expectations are skyrocketing out of control. Women have economic power and now they are acting like men. Pickiness is a luxury that women can now afford."

(Oh come on! You women have been ALWAYS looking for Mr. Rich and Good Looking. Geez, you can’t even be honest with yourselves. Maybe you do need those psychologists.)

One prime example is Jennifer Aniston's dashed relationship with Brad Pitt, who tabloids say only wanted to settle down and have children, which he has done with Angelina Jolie. She, ironically, is yet another independent woman who tabloids often point out is ambivalent about marriage but not children. Another example is the runaway bride who skipped out on her groom and her wedding and fled to Mexico.

(Women Strong-Men Weak. Women Good-Men Bad. This has gotten so old.
I thought the runaway bride ran away because she was a nutcase. Turns out she was a Strong-Independent woman who did not want children with a weak man. Go figure.)

Commitment phobia is not just an American trend but also a global phenomenon, Furman says, with women in Japan, Australia and Britain adopting the same behaviors. These women, she says, are not settling down. They want to experience life, shop, travel, work, count their money, and play. "They fear having a husband is going to compromise their lifestyle," she says. "They fear of giving up freedom." In addition, she says, relationships get a bad rap today with all the negative messages in the media about relationships. "Growing up in this day and age, you'd be freaked out, too," Furman says.

(And I thought it had to do with men having no stake or rights whatsoever in marriage and family and deciding relationships with women offer men NOTHING. Did’nt know it had to do with wanting Louis Vuiton and Gucci.)

This trend is especially unsettling for men, the author says. "Men don't understand why women are roaring so much. A lot of men are much more relationship- and family-oriented than women." She says women often feel that men have more to gain in a marriage and many feel as if men always win and women always lose in a relationship. In addition, when men play the nice guy, they may not get the girl. The author says, often it's not his issues but hers that interfere in a relationship. She says many women are saying to men, "It's your fault," rather than admit that they are scared of commitment.

(Here we go again. Woman-Strong, Man-Weak. And you women are wondering why so many of us men do not discriminate the feminists from “regular” women anymore?)

Furman says for years, everyone quoted erroneous statistics that said there were not enough men for all the single women. She says even though those stats have been debunked, women still rely on flawed probabilities, often blaming men for their predicament. However, says Furman, this defeatism masks their underlying fear of commitment. The ones who say there aren't enough men are blaming things outside themselves. The author says women should stop looking outside themselves and look inside to figure out why they are afraid of intimacy. Intimacy, she says, can be scary.

(“women still rely on flawed probabilities, often blaming men for their predicament.” Ah Hah!! RELYING ON FLAWED PROBABILITIES AND OFTEN BLAMING MEN. . And you women are wondering why so many of us men do not discriminate the feminists from “regular” women anymore?)

So what's a woman to do? Furman says the first step is to admit you have a problem. In 'Kiss and Run,' she details seven types of commitment phobes: The Nit-Picker, The Serial Dater, The Long-Distance Runner, The Tinker Belle, The Free Spirit, Damsel in Distress and The Player. In addition, her book offers steps on how to stop derailing relationships with quizzes, first-person accounts and expert advice to help these women to change their ways. Eventually, Furman says, commitment phobic women can get over themselves and move on to a healthy, satisfying and emotionally committed relationship. She ought to know; she did.

(Step 1.-Admit you have a problem (here’s that ‘problem” excuse again. Wouldn’t have anything to do with personal responsibility now would it?)

(Step 2.-Buy her book.)

Elina Furman offers single women tips and advice on how to conquer their commitment anxiety and curb overanalysis.

("CURB OVERANALYSIS"???!!!!!! GIVE ME A BREAK!!)]]>

Here is a head's up for all those "nice normal average innocent" women out there - the effectiveness of this tactic is wearing out from over use. What makes it so foul is that it is only effective when it is not true. It is spoken as a known lie with some awareness that the power of it depends entirely on how false it is - the more a man really likes women, the more effective it will be at silencing him. A man who truly did not like women would not be the slightest bit daunted by such an accusation - it would simply be a statement of truth.

FEMININE-ism has become a caricature of femininity, and turned most women into caricatures. As a result, this accusation of "hating women" has been so overused that it has become meaningless. Once a man stops caring what the woman making the accusation thinks of him, he starts ignoring the accusations and sticking with the original subject.

There have been many substantive issues which men here have raised that the female contingent continues to refuse to address, and continues to fall back on the worn out "you all just hate women." Misogynists are not born, they are made, and this continued denial and refusal to dialogue on the issues fairly makes more every day. There is 1000x the true misogyny in this culture as a result of 4 decades of feminism than existed before that twisted ideology raised its ugly head.

Women have painted men into a corner when it comes to dealing with them - men can either capitulate to their every demand, or be called "woman haters." It is reaching the point in the culture where the 2nd option is preferable to the first.]]>

You seem to read (or respond to) only the posts where there may be some harsh words written against "all" women. I'll go out on a limb here and say that "most" men posting here and otherwise do not hate women. But we (I) lack the trust in them or our rules of law to enter and remain in a relationship whereby we (I) have a great chance to be hurt.

Just as the feminazi view that "all men are rapists" and "all men are bad" has infected the minds of women over last past few decades, the notion that men have a tremendous chance to get the injured emotionally, financially and perhaps even physically should they marry or father a child, well that message has started to be heard and heeded. Younger men should not be brainwashed into hating women by us older fellows who have had some difficulties, but they should be educated as to the grave risks posed.

contrarymary, speak to me.

I don't hate you or anybody else. What do you say to me (or perhaps your grandson in a few years) when asked: Should I take a chance at marriage, where I could lose all I have worked for all my life to a woman who has a change of mind or to a lawyer who won't have my interests at heart. Should I father another child who can be taken away from me for no legitimate reason other than I am the father?]]>