Shared Parenting

Whether by disease, accident, murder or suicide, losing a child is one of the worst experiences a person could face. Another tragedy that ranks at the top of the list is having a missing child. Strangers abduct a small percentage of these children. Most are abducted by one of their parents.

There’s one type of parental child abduction that doesn’t get much attention. It happens when one parent uses the legal system to postpone or eliminate any chance of the other parent spending time with the children. One way is by claiming fear of domestic violence. Studies now show that sixty to eighty percent of allegations of domestic violence are later found to be unnecessary or false.

Many parents who find themselves victims of this hidden crime are confused, outraged, overwhelmed and desperate. Those who look for help online can find a wealth of information on websites and in related forums. Some offer in-person meetings and conferences. Others offer interactive Internet talk shows.

As described in Defiant Dads, most of these people are knowledgeable, sincere, and generous with their advice and encouragement. Unfortunately this is not true of everyone a parent might come across in the online community, which is often called the fathers’ movement, the family rights movement or the equal parenting movement. One man who has taken advantage of these vulnerable parents is Torm Howse, creator of the website UnitedCivilRights.org.

Howse, who has spent time in prison for intimidation and battery, been convicted of child abuse, and allegedly has warrants out for his arrest, offers his services writing legal papers. His own emails quote the rate of $40 an hour. He has told some parents that $400 would get his services for life. Yet he was able to get $1,000 from one parent and $3,000 from another. Howse usually has the money sent through the website’s PayPal donation account.

“Torm Howse works on people’s vulnerabilities. That’s what he did to me,” said Donald Tenn, board member of Fathers 4 Justice – US and father to abducted Madison Tenn, “I paid him $200 because he told me that he guaranteed I would get Madison back. I still haven’t received one piece of paper from him, and know I never will. I can take someone hurting me, but Howse exploits little children like my daughter Madison.”

“I was new in the movement, extremely vulnerable and desperate to find someone to help me. I worked with Mr. Howse to create the United Civil Rights Councils of America, not knowing he was a master at manipulation,” said Theresa Martin, who lived with Howse for a year, “He convinced me he was losing his storage unit in Indiana so I agreed to him storing his items in my home. When he showed up with his stuff he said he wasn’t about to go anywhere.”

“I thought I needed Torm to help me. I believed in my heart he was the only one who could,” she explained, “We had agreed he’d rent a room from me, but he didn’t pay me. I asked him to leave my home every single day for almost a year. He just refused!”

Howse left some parents at risk of jail. “When Torm Howse first started he was on time,” said Gary Helman, “then after the first hearing he started delaying everything. I was always getting emails from him saying I will have it tonight. I paid for an interlocutory appeal that he never finished. I paid for a civil suit that he never finished. I paid for an appeal and I never received it. I paid him $3,000 over all. Last July Torm called me and said, ‘they’re going to take you to jail. The food is not bad there,’ and he laughed.”

“I let Torm Howse stay in my house for a week, and paid him $1,000 to rewrite my complaint. It had been weeks and he wouldn't get it done – ‘trust me, it is a complete victory’ he kept saying,” David Bardes told me, “Then one day he just walked out. I was left to do all the paperwork myself, with very little time.”  These are just some of the people who claim Howse has defrauded them.  When asked to comment, Howse declined.

There were many objections when Howse first proposed his equal parenting class action lawsuits a few years ago. Ray Lautenschlager, of Parents And Children for Equality (PACE) said “Mike Galluzzo, Chuck Evans and I told Howse that his civil suit was a doomed effort because the wording and legal approach would not work, based on past experience and what we were finding out with the Galluzzo case at that time. The end result was a mass dismissal of all of the cases that they brought forth. And financial losses that were unnecessarily placed on the people that this wannabe leader had duped.”

• Find Teri on sharedparentingworks.org and jugsforjustice.org.

by Timothy Weinstein

Parental abduction in itself is a traumatic event for the left-behind parent. Brazil alone has over 50 cases of abduction from the United States representing over 70 children, my own two included. In addition to the emotional costs the left-behind parent must endure, one must understand the financial costs.

Due to my personal experiences, this article will focus on Brazil.

Consider the case of David Goldman; in the 4 ½ years since his son, Sean, was abducted, he has spent over $360,000 in legal and travel expenses. He is not alone and according to a December 27, 2008 article published in the Financial Post, “[Francois Larivee] has burned through $150,000, and still there is no end in sight.”

Add to this list, Marty Pate who to date has spent over $135,000, Klaus Zensen who has spent $65,000, Alessandra Oliveira is at $30,000 and counting - and the list goes on and on. Yet not one of these parents has their child back home.

From this, it appears rather obvious that the only people winning are the attorneys.

At least one parent, Gary Reilly, whose twin sons were abducted to Brazil in April, 2004, never petitioned for the return of his children due to the perceived cost of litigation. As told in a thread on BringSeanHome.org, when he consulted an attorney, “He also told me that if I went to court, be prepared to pay a minimum of at least $100,000, before anything was decided.” A different attorney in Brazil, when asked what it would cost to present in court a Hague Convention case, quoted $30,000 plus another $20,000 if the case was won. When asked if the definition of winning meant that the child was returned, the answer was “No”. Winning simply meant that the first judge ordered the return of the child, not mentioning the likely rounds of appeals.

How tragic it is that a lack of money rather than a lack of love could keep a parent from their child.

There are certain legal strategies of use to help alleviate the costs of expensive litigation related to a petition under the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. One such strategy is to sue the abducting parent (and any accomplices) in the United States courts. If you're lucky enough, they may have assets you can retrieve. Related to this strategy, David Goldman reached a settlement with his child's grandparents for $150,000 - a lot of money until one considers that he has spent over twice that so far in litigation. Another father, Marty Pate, was awarded $65,000 in U.S. courts, an amount unfortunately, he'll likely never see.

This situation may have changed with the Shannon-v-Khalifa precedent who was awarded a massive $3 million jury award upheld on apeal last year, yet the sting in the tail is there are no US assets to make the judgment work; the children are gone and remain overseas with no contact with their father.

It doesn't have to be this way.

According to Article 26 of the Hague Convention,

“Central Authorities and other public services of Contracting States[think country] shall not impose any charges in relation to applications submitted under this Convention. In particular, they may not require any payment from the applicant towards the costs and expenses of the proceedings or, where applicable, those arising from the participation of legal counsel or advisers.”

Although it allows a Contracting State to make a reservation when it accedes to the Convention, thus removing itself from this obligation, Brazil has not.

Article 26 continues by stating,

“Upon ordering the return of a child or issuing an order concerning rights of access under this Convention, the judicial or administrative authorities may, where appropriate, direct the person who removed or retained the child, or who prevented the exercise of rights of access, to pay necessary expenses incurred by or on behalf of the applicant, including travel expenses, any costs incurred or payments made for locating the child, the costs of legal representation of the applicant, and those of returning the child.”

What does all of this mean?

First, a left-behind parent may request an attorney from the AGU[think attorney general] in Brazil. In this instance, the Brazilian government itself becomes the plaintiff and assumes the legal fees. I, along with others, have used this arrangement, leaving precious financial resources available for travel and other expenses rather than legal fees. There are both advantages and disadvantages to this arrangement, but I'll leave that to another discussion.

Second, it allows the left-behind parent to sue in Brazil for all costs they incurred in the fight to have their child returned to his or her habitual residence. This however is predicated on the Brazilian court system first ordering the return of an abducted child, something they have done only once so far to the United States.

Where does this leave us?

Back to the first sentence of this article. While international child abduction is an inexcusable tragedy with a huge emotional bill, averting the financial cost is possible, however, it is highly problematical and there is no help with a large part of the overall costs which are not legal related - travel, accomodation and simple living expenses - and this assumes you know where your child is to start the process in the first instance.

©Timothy Weinstein 2009

Also, a 2007 post by another left behind parent Karl Hindle :

Who foots the bill in an international child abduction ?

As a fathers’ advocate, I had hope when President Obama was elected. Some expressed disappointment that the author of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) had become Vice President. They feared more gender-based discrimination. Being a liberal egalitarian, I was optimistic.

My president had said he respects our civil rights. I believed all we needed to do was show President Obama and Vice President Biden how false allegations of domestic violence hurt 170,000 children a year.1,2 How VAWA has lead to uncontrollable corruption from individual shelters all the way to the US Department of State.

I was sure President Obama would agree that every parent deserves due process. Those parents deserve a trial with a jury of their peers, before the possibility of losing custody of their children. I wanted to show him how many fathers are absent from their children’s lives, by no fault of their own.

But before I knew it, President Obama disappointed me. He also disappointed millions of fathers who are grieving the unjust absence of their children. Instead of making things more equal between the genders, we now have an Office on Women and Children. And we don’t have one for men and their children.

Watching the Sean Goldman parental child abduction case unfold in the media has been bittersweet for parents of children still missing. All American parents with children abducted to foreign countries experience the same emotions and frustrations as Sean’s father David Goldman. He’s fortunate to have the help of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

Foreign parents must endure the same trauma when their children are illegally abducted to America. These parents look to the Department of State for help too. In at least one case that I’ve reported on, that of Emily Hindle, the State Department did not help; they hurt.

Karl Hindle has been fighting for several years to have his daughter Emily returned to the UK. Not only did Emily’s mother illegally abducted her, she attempted to give Emily away in an illegal adoption. With the help of unscrupulous domestic violence agents, she has filed hundreds of false allegations of domestic violence and even child sexual assault charges against Karl. All of which have been thrown out.

Supervisors in the International Child Abduction Division of the US State Department arranged the illegal abduction. Ignoring new family court orders, they hid mother and child for years. Even while Emily was listed as missing and endangered. Hillary Clinton could initiate an internal investigation into this and other cases.

What about parents who live in the US, whose children have been illegally abducted to another state? Who can they turn to? Donald Tenn of Fathers 4 Justice and Families 4 Justice would like to know. Her mother illegally abducted Tenn’s daughter Madison. She also has filed numerous false allegations of domestic violence. They’ve also been thrown out.

Studies now show that 70% of all allegations of domestic violence are unnecessary or false. Many parents like Tenn have proven fraud and contempt of court on the part of the other parent, yet get no relief. After being bounced from one state to the other, he finally got an order for visitation. Local authorities refused to enforce the order when her mother didn’t surrender Madison.

Tenn has written to the Governors in his home state of California, and Illinois where Madison now resides. No response from either. Tenn and Paul Fisher, another father climbed a 175′ construction crane in Ohio last September to draw media attention to the issue. Over a well-attended Buckeye football game they hung a 50′ banner. Tenn stayed atop the crane for 4 days, even enduring a dangerous thunderstorm.

When Fisher and Tenn were first spotted by the construction crew it didn’t take long for the workers to express their sympathy. The foreman told the media on scene that they didn’t need to use the crane for a few days anyway. After Tenn descended, he noted that just 10 minutes later the crane was up and running.

Charges were filed against both men, but later dropped. Recently the charge of vandalism was refiled. Tenn noted he brought down their supplies and did not harm the crane in any way. He and Fisher face 18-month prison sentences. They’re due back in Columbus, Ohio in front of Judge Stephen McIntosh on April 13th. When asked for a comment Tenn said, “There should be no jail for being a dad.”

COURTROOM 6A
369 SOUTH HIGH STREET
6TH FLOOR
COLUMBUS, OH 43215

source:? sharedparentingworks.org

Visit JugsFor Justice.org Today!

Martin Luther King wrote: “Nonviolent resistance … is based on the conviction that the universe is on the side of justice.  Consequently, the believer in nonviolence has deep faith in the future.  This faith is another reason why the nonviolent resister can accept suffering without retaliation. For he knows that in his struggle for justice he has cosmic companionship.”

Inspired by Martin Luther King and Gandhi, John Murtari of Lyons, New York is practicing civil disobedience by personal sacrifice while incarcerated in the Wayne County jail. He has not eaten or had any water since he was arrested Monday night for driving without a license.  On Friday Murtari was moved to the medical ward where they could monitor his health more closely.

Murtari claims he doesn’t owe thousands of dollars in child support the State says he owes, so his license should not have been suspended.  He says the support was calculated with a salary he no longer had, and travel expenses to see his son Dominic exceed the amount ordered after the courts allowed his ex-wife to move their son across the country.

Murtari, a quiet, thoughtful man and ex Air Force Training Pilot, was at one time planning on being a priest. He was in pre-seminary training when he realized he couldn’t give up the experience of having a family. After his divorce Murtari saw how many families were adversely affected by bad family laws.  He founded akidsright.org, a group that believes the right to parent our children urgently needs to be protected.

“One foundation of morality is the supremacy of individual conscience - what many know as “let your conscience be your guide.” What more natural obligation does any parent have than to care for their own kids? To be present in their lives in the many roles that only a parent can fill,” wrote Murtari in an essay about civil rights on his website

“I wasn’t expecting this,” he said in a weak voice by phone Friday, “They were waiting for me outside my home.”  Murtari cooperated with police, but went passive once at the jail.  Officers had to undress Murtari and put him in a jumpsuit.

Murtari says they were about to drag him to his cell when a Sergeant said, “No, I’m not doing this.  When I tell inmates to move and they don’t move, I spray them.”  Murtari says he was hit with a blast of pepper spray and went down.

The next thing he knew he was hit by another blast as he was being told to move.  A different officer said, “Come on John, get up.  Let’s get you to the shower to decontaminate you.”  “It took three hours to open my eyes,” Murtari said, “I’m hoping I won’t have scarring around my eye.  It’s pretty bad”

Murtari embarked on a similar protest July 31, 2006, the day he reported to serve a 6-month sentence for “willful failure to pay child support.”  For ten days Murtari had no food or water. Medical personnel tried to tempt him with candy, and threatened not to intervene.  Murtari lost 27 pounds and suffered dehydration, low blood sugar, low blood pressure and an irregular heartbeat before prison officials gave him a feeding tube.

Murtari went 123 days without solid food that time.  He talks about it in the documentary Support? System Down, which highlights the devastating failings of our family law and child support system.   Murtari watched the film in Lyons recently with former President of NOW, author and attorney Karen DeCrow, who also appears in the documentary.

Murtari’s next court hearing is December 17.  In a letter to Judge Forgione he asks, “How can ‘due process’ rights be preserved without recognition of my human right to be considered a fit & equal parent to my child?”  Speaking for all parents he said, “Before we take a person’s freedom, we have a strong presumption of innocence, a right to counsel, and the protection of a jury. The same should apply to interference with the parent/child bond. We need real proof and unbiased jurors to decide. We need a Federal Family Rights Act.”

source

paul fisher asks gov strickland for investigation into Ohio family court

“I made the sign saying STOP THE WAR ON FATHERHOOD,” stated Fisher, “I believe there is a war in this country against fathers. In my case the judge was biased.”

“I took my case all the way to the Ohio Supreme Court, and won. Then the family court judge made changes and decisions without a hearing,” says Fisher, “after five years of day on, day off, equal shared parenting, she reduced my time with my daughter.

Fisher says he never expected to find gender bias in family court, “I’m of the generation that grew up believing in equality. I was raised by a single mom. She taught me the genders are equal.” Fisher had been sharing his daughter’s care since she was an infant.

When reminded that feminist groups claim women are discriminated against in family court, Fisher suggested, “Fathers claim gender bias. Mothers claim gender bias. Let’s do an investigation and learn the truth.”

He recalls having a lot of time to think about things during those hours in the air. He said even though men are victims most often, it can happen to any parent. He clarified, “What drove me to go up on a crane was the obligation as an American to defend the Constitution. The Constitution guarantees us due process.”

paul and demetra playing monopoly

source: jugsforjustice.org

Donald Tenn is a California father who says he “had to take action” for his young daughter Madison.  He started his fourth day this morning on a wet construction crane in Columbus Ohio alone. Last night police warned of thunderstorms.  John Fowler, national coordinator for Fathers 4 Justice was able to talk activist father Paul Fisher down.

Tenn refused.  “I have nothing to lose”, he said through a walkie-talkie.  Earlier he told me, “I’ve followed the law, been bounced back and forth between states, and been falsely accused of domestic violence.  I finally won visitation in Illinois.  The judge even reprimanded her mother.  I had one visit.  That’s it.  She’s able to use services funded by the Violence Against Women Act to illegally keep me from my daughter.”

Until Madison’s mother illegally abducted her to Illinois, Tenn was her stay-at-home parent. It’s Madison he worries about, not himself.   He says she’s being hurt by the family court system and he has to protect her.  A member of Fathers 4 Justice, the gender-neutral civil rights group fighting for equal parental rights, he says he won’t come down until Governor Schwarzenegger agrees to a nonpartisan investigation into the family court system.  Calls to the Governor’s office have yet to be returned.

Tenn’s Sacramento phone rings off the hook at all hours of the day.  Friends say he always makes time to listen to parents trying to avoid or recover from the devastation of losing contact with their children.  When he isn’t grieving for his own little girl Madison, he says, his heart aches for the thousands of other parents he knows who are experiencing the same thing.

Tenn has been sending Madison packages in the mail about 3 times a week.  “I’ve probably sent over 300 packages so far,” he told me recently, “they include books, healthy snacks, small toys and stickers.  She loves stickers”

When asked if he wants to keep Madison away from her mother when this is resolved, he says, “no.”  “I’ve always wanted equal custody, equal parenting and equal responsibility, for each of us.”  Asked if his case was unique he replied,”I’ve traveled the country talking to other parents.  And what I hear all the time, from mothers and fathers, is that they want equal parental rights, equal physical and legal custody.”

jugsforjustice.org

prior post

post on paul fisher

Paul Fisher, 34 and Donald Tenn, 52 will come down from their perch on a construction crane on Lane Avenue in Columbus, Ohio under one condition. They’re waiting until Governors Ted Strickland and Arnold Schwarzenegger begin investigations in the family court systems in Ohio and California. Starting their third day more than 100 feet above ground, the Fathers 4 Justice members say they don’t mind a little sacrifice for civil and family rights.

Paul’s victorious Fisher Case of the Ohio Supreme Court determined that termination of co-custody requires the same standards as terminating sole custody. While winning the case helped Ohio, it did not help Paul and his daughter Demetra. After overturning the judges decision, she simple took away more visitation on the remand as punishment.

On his website Paul writes, “Judge Zitter has issued a new judgment on this case, without holding a new hearing. Mother is awarded full custody, father has visitation for 48 hours every other weekend.

In all her wisdom, Judge Zitter has upheld her previous findings and appended a “change of circumstance” section to comply with the mandate of the Ohio Supreme Court. She also removed incriminating statements against the mother and added new opinons detrimental to the father.

Her choosen change of circumstance is that the father “Apparently changed his intentions.

Judge Zitter has determined that it is in my daughter’s best interest to only have time with me 27 hours a week, on average. Interestingly, she reached this conclusion without a new hearing, using the exact same evidence as her previous determination that 50% parenting time with both parents was in my child’s best interest.”

photos and videos: http://www.teristoddard.org/wordpress/?p=35

columbus, ohio, 9,29,08

Donald Tenn is a man of conviction.  Since the day I met him, one thing, and one thing alone has guided his every move.  Tenn is a Daddy who misses and worries about his daughter Madison every moment of every day.

Madison and Tenn are victims of Madison’s mother Shannon and the disaster called the family court system.  Shannon illegally abducted Madison from California to Illinois.  When she learned the law would make her return Madison, she immediately filed false allegations of domestic violence against Tenn.  As I described here, not only has Madison’s mother broken the law, she’s being rewarded for her actions.

Today he took his cause to new heights.  Tenn, from California, in a Spiderman suit and Paul Fisher, from Ohio, in a Batman suit, both members of Fathers4Justice, are currently atop a 100 foot crane outside the Ohio Stadium in Columbus.  They’ve unfurled a 40 foot banner that says STOP THE WAR ON FATHERHOOD.

There are at least 100,000 people passing underneath on their way to the Ohio State football game.   Tenn describes at least 100 police, sheriff and SWAT officers gathering below.  He adds that a police helicopter keeps buzzing very close by.

When asked to comment, John Fowler, National Coordinator for F4J said, ”These fathers have waited years for change. Their pleas have fallen of deaf ears when all they are asking for is to be able to love a raise their children. Why should children be denied the right to have two loving parents?”

Tenn has spent the last couple of years volunteering as a board member and California coordinator for Fathers4Justice.  Fathers 4 Justice originated in the UK a few years ago.  Founder Matt O’Connor recently announced he was shutting down his group, again. There are now F4J branches in several countries including Canada, where family rights activists Rob Robinson (Batman) and Kris Titus (Wonderwoman) regularly make the news with similar stunts.

Describing the phone calls he receives at all hours of the day Tenn says, “We get dozens of new members every month, just from California.”  “Each parent thinks their case is unique.  They don’t realize that I’ve heard the same story hundreds of times.”

He says he understands that they need to get it off their chests.  “And fathers aren’t the only parents who are victims,” he adds, “mothers and grandparents call me too.”  It’s estimated that by 2010 one quarter of America’s noncustodial parents will be female.

Tenn says making any parent “noncustodial” is wrong.  Unless they’ve been convicted of a crime or don’t want to be part of their child’s life.  He even says he wants Shannon to have equal access to Madison, after she gets out of jail.

Shared parenting and shared custody are supported by over 85% of the population.  Why then can’t these parents and legislators get laws passed to guarantee equal parental rights to all fit parents?  The answer is very simple.  There are “protective mother” groups who are financially and politically supported by feminist and domestic violence organizations.

They often use lies and debunked “facts” to convince legislators that passing these laws will hurt children.  As I described here I watched as they lied under oath to derail AB1307, the 2005 California shared parenting bill.  Less than 5% of divorces are high conflict.  Sixty to eighty percent of all domestic violence charges are found to be unnecessary or false. Isn’t it time to have laws that fit the facts?

Most families would benefit from shared parenting.  Studies show it actually reduces conflict.  When confronted about the controversial nature of the demonstration Mr. Fowler replied “What would you be willing to do if a corrupt court denied you access to your children?”

DONALD AND MADISON TENN:

source: www.jugsforjustice.org

UPDATE: Police at this point do not plan on removing the men.

VIDEO: This is video of the start of the stunt.